13. Countdown

10 days to go before my birthday. ;)

12. Write it down

When you got nothing else to do and it's 3 in the morning and you feel sad, what do you do? You write it down. :)

First of all i'm really not sad, but I guess I am for no reason. You know, this thing when midnight hits and the only thing that you could think about is the part when you get sad. Or problems, and you get emotional or whatever. And guess what's playing on my background? Yes it is, "Kiss The Rain." =))))

For those who do not know the song, listen to it and promise me not to listen to it over and over again. :)) I would probably like to acknowledge blogger at this very moment, you have been very helpful to me since the day i decided to go back. :)

I just wish i could sleep this off because a wonderful day is waiting for me. But I know everyday i lie to myself. I keep telling myself, "hey everything is going to be okay." NO. Nothing is gonna be okay unless i get my ass moving.

Okay, what to do? check. I certainly know what to do. *Pause* Before I continue, i'm talking about something you guys should not know about, but when the perfect time comes, i would absolutely let you know. Just not know. *Unpause* I have made plans, I have everything inside my head running and stressing me out everyday. And i just want to get rid of this feeling. But i am too scared. Plus, i am scared to admit that i am scared because i have been fooling myself that this situation is gonna be ironed. I told someone (who knows about everything i'm talking about here) that i cannot get this thing fixed because i do not have the enough strength and courage to face it. And she told me, i have those things i am just scared. I guess i really am. I am being redundant here, right? Haha!

But here's the thing, We too many times ask, "Why me?" I gotta admit i have asked that to God many times already. I have been a faithful man to God, I know that to myself and It's kinda unfair why me? There are too many people who deserve to experience such punishments or consequences, that is the biggest factor why too many times we ask God, "Why me?"

We may have unanswered questions, things may be too difficult for us, too complicated it may be. But little did we know, we haven't reached anything yet. We haven't even opened the first page of the book, yes we may have but there are hundreds of pages in a book. I was in a youth service earlier this evening and a pastor said, "God has prepared something for you." (Those words brought tears into my eyes.) It is just so amazing how we think that this is the ending of it, but hey, it hasn't even started yet. :) God has something in store for me. God isn't finished with me yet because greater thing are yet to come. :)

All I see is darkness, my problem, my dilemma, the consequences of it but i have no time looking for his purpose for me. And God constantly reminding me that He is with me and all I should do is to put my trust in Him and i didn't see that. I was losing hope. Losing faith, but God loves his children and He only wants the best for them. :) I guess she was right (the person i was talking about a while ago who knows all about this stuff) why am i being afraid? Where is the faith i am talking about?

I am still scared. But hey, I saw the light. And I am going through that light. Because I trust my Almighty Father, and I have the faith that this is just temporary. Because I have an everlasting God. :)

PS, i got the "pause unpause" thing on HIMYM. YOU GUYS SHOULD SEE THAT SERIES IT'S AWESOME. :> And going back on the 2nd paragraph, there is a reason. :)

11. Break

Game Of Thrones

Awkward

The Walking Dead

Community

Heroes

How I Met Your Mother

Misfits

Modern Family

The Big Bang Theory

I'm into watching foreign TV series lately and these are my prospects for this sembreak. I have been watching some of them and the others are on my list of downloads. Haha.

I'm currently watching The Big Bang Theory and HIMYM, waiting for the 3rd season of Misfits, waiting for me to feel Game Of Thrones cause I have 7 episodes of it already but I'm not feeling it. :| And the rest, still on the list. Haha! Wish me luck! I hope i could watch them all in a bout a week left. ;) 

In all fairness, these lessen my boredom. You should try this too. :)

10. Courage

This is the highlight of my day. Real Steel.

The movie was…i don't know, beyond awesome!!! When I thought that this movie would bore me, i was completely wrong. From the very beginning until the moment that it blacked out, everything was amazing! This movie is filled with so much emotions, it made me cry! I know for sure this movie made the whole audience cry. ;) Credits to Hugh Jackman and to Dakota Goyo! They did an amazing job in this movie! Also to Shawn Levy, you just wowed everyone with your film! The movie was entirely excellent! Two thumbs up for this! No, all fingers up!!! 

Cause indeed, courage is stronger than steel. ;)

"It's not always about winning, it's not always about being perfect, it's about having the passion and the courage to be excellent on what you do. Passion, Courage and Excellence are more than enough, more like they come from our inside. ;)

 - Yours Truly

9. Move forward

I just have to post this. Bye. :))

8. Soar

God is indeed more than amazing. :)

"Family of Jacob, why do you say,
'The Lord doesn't notice our condition'?
People of Israel, why do you say,
'Our God doesn't pay any attention to our rightful claims?
Don't you know who made everything?
Haven't you heard about him?
The Lord is the God who lives forever.
He created everything on earth.
He won't become worn out or get tired.
No one will ever know how great his understanding is.
He gives strength to those who are tired.
He gives power to those who are weak.
Even young people become worn out and get tired.
Even the best of them trip and fall.
But those who trust in the Lord will receive new strength.
They will fly as high as eagles.
They will run and not get tired.
They will walk and not grow weak."

Isaiah 40:27-31

- "My God is forever therefore my problems are just temporary."

- Know that we can rely on God.

- You don't put your faith on yourself but on God.

- God will renew your strength in exchange of your weakness.

- "You are designed to soar."

How to be a champion of God:

- Stop complaining.

- Be grateful

- Start praying

Ngayon, naiintindihan ko na. Sa buhay natin, hindi sagot sa problema dapat ang hinahanap, wag kang excited, ang hanapin mo, ung paraan kung paano masasagot. Dahil mula don, matututo ka. :-)

God thank you for blessing and renewing my strength tonight. Now i'm ready. :) You said on your word, when i am weak, i am strong and I know you are much stronger. :) I trust in you, and i'm letting you take the wheel. :)

7. Favorite day!

Indeed, thank God it's Friday. :')

It was so funny how my day started and how God ended it.

Let me show you the list of what I have done today:

• Spent the day with my favorite person on earth.
• Picked her up.
• Listened to songs with her.
• Walked with her.
• Ate at Taco Bell with her.
• Rode the bus with her.
• Bought band-aids with her because of her "paltoes" as she would say because it's kind of plural. Haha.
• Bought Chatime for her. And also for me, of course. :))
• Attended Youth Service at Victory Ortigas with her.
• Bought Takuyaki for her. And also for me, of course. =))
• Rode the bus with her on our way home.
• Talked about marriage with her. (This is kind of funny. Hehe.)
• Talked about having pets with her in our house IN THE FUTURE. Take note guys, in the future. :))
• Sang with her.
• Played MASH with her and we got really disappointed with the results. Haha!
• Laughed with her. (Doing this the whole time we're together.)
• Kissed her on her way home. (Cheeks lang guys, Ok?) =))

Thank you for completing my day, honey. :) Thank you Jesus for making us safe, blessed and happy today. :)

Friday will always be my favorite day. :)

6. Not again

Another day has passed.

Still, I haven't done what is to be done. 

5. Trust

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.

Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

4. What is life for you?

Tough, hard times, you couldn't escape those. Life will blow you as crazy as it seems. It will give you so much trouble even crying is not an option for you anymore. Minsan nga, sasabihin mo "gusto ko na sumuko" as if you have the option to runaway. As if you have the option to escape from everything. Many people would say that quitting should not be in your options. But this life gave me so much realizations.

Too many times we say, "This life is shit", "I hate my life!". Listen to me, life is wonderful. :) You just haven't discovered it yet. Because all you see is the smoke that covers the whole idea of life. Problems would cover the beauty of life as much as it could. I myself have been struggling with a dilemma for years already until today. Lagi mong tatandaan na meron pang tao na mas mabigat na pinagdadanan kesa sayo. Reality check, worth it bang problemahin yang pinoproblema mo?

Let us learn to look at life with a rainbow on it and not with a storm. No one has told you that this life is gonna be so easy, right? So might as well, be happy. Stop fooling yourself with something you know you are not into. You gotta love life, and through loving this life, you're gonna see the happiness that this life will bring you. Hindi naman nawawala ang problema e. Kakambal nga natin yun, pero palaging nasayo ang bola at ikaw ang bahala kung kanino mo ipapasa, kung pano mo i-shu-shoot. Always remember that in every failure there is always an opportunity. Opportunity waiting for you.

Be a glass of water that is always half full and not half empty, and that has the biggest potntial to overflow. Always look for something, always search and don't settle. Look for your passion. Embrace it and love it. For that will be the start of you're genuine happiness.

I envy those people who worked so much for something just because they love them and they would kill just for that. Who put sooo much effort into something they do. Na kahit pagod na sila, kahit konti nalang yung kaya nilang ibigay nagiging 10x pa din. Who doesn't want that? :) It's never too late. You can always start fresh. Don't stop yourself from fulfilling all of your dreams because in the end, it's you that matters. You're the one who is gonna so happy and fulfilled.

I therefore conclude that life maybe a bit crazy, no a lot crazy, but come to think of it, it just gives you the chance to get stronger. because life will not stop giving you headaches, make sure you always bring medications with you. :)

3. Can't Stop Love

We stand here today, together as one
You brighten my days,
just like the sun
When everything around,
is like stormy weather,
We always survive,
cause were in this together

Whoever said that we could never hold on,
Do now know I found my star
(Baby you are my star)
And now I'm happy I stood up for so long
And baby this is where our story starts

I can't stop,
can't stop this love
No matter what they say,
I love you
I can't stop, can't stop,
I love you no matter what they say, I love you
They said this love was the impossible kind
But we were strong enough to fight for this life
I can't stop,
can't stop this love
No matter what they say,
I love you

Now i'm carried away because I've opened arms
You're here to stay,
deep in my heart
They said that we couldn't, but we did make it work
And nothing could stop us, not even two different worlds

Whoever said that we could never hold on,
Do now know I found my star
(Baby you are my star)
And now I'm happy I stood up for so long
And baby this is where our story starts

I can't stop,
can't stop this love
No matter what they say,
I love you
I can't stop, can't stop,
I love you no matter what they say, I love you
They said this love was the impossible kind
But we were strong enough to fight for this life
I can't stop,
can't stop this love
No matter what they say,
I love you

I can't stop, stop,
No i can't stop
I can't stop, stop,
No i can't stop...

I can't stop,
can't stop this love
No matter what they say,
I love you
I can't stop, can't stop,
I love you no matter what they say, I love you
They said this love was the impossible kind
But we were strong enough to fight for this life
I can't stop,
can't stop this love
No matter what they say,
I love you

2. Ending

"Not to spoil the ending but everything's gonna be alright" - Tumblr

Marami man tayong hindi naiintindihan na bagay sa mundo, madami man tayong tanong, madami mang gulo, lagi lang natin isiping matatapos to at magiging maayos ang lahat. :)

Good night now! I now have a blogger, again. Finally. :)

1. This one's for you, honey :)

I would dedicate my first post to my favorite person, ya'll. :)

Ma. Dawn Jeshielle Torzar,

Haha. I wish this surprised you, maybe? :)

I really don't know how to start this honey cause there is a lot literally a lot of stuffs going inside my head right now and i don't even know what to say. I guess I should start of with a little thank you and just let my mind flow. Alright here we go. :)

To my favorite person in the world, thank you. :) for all the support, for everything that you have done for me, for without you I don't even know where else would I be. Lagi ko ngang tinatanong yung sarile ko kung bakit hanggang ngayon nandyan ka pa din sa tabi ko, you have all the reason to walk away from me. Bakit hanggang gayon iniintindi mo pa din ako. I know i cannot thank you enough for everything. Literally everything. Ang dami mo na po kasing nagawa sa buhay ko. :) Sana lahat ng tao kaya akong intindihin ng katulad ng pag-intindi mo sakin. Yun nga lang, hindi sila kasing blessed ko dahil wala ka sa buhay nila. :P I will always tell the world how lucky, how blessed i am for having you in my life. From the very start. :) I know you're the angel God has sent for me. Thank you for choosing to stay. You may be my girlfriend, my kabarkada, my friend, bestfriend, sister, mother, brother, father or whatever one thing is for sure honey, you will always be special to me, you will always have the biggest part of me. (except for my family though :p) I have proven to myself how much I need you, and i will always tell you that. Imagine me without you, can you even imagine it? :) Ilang beses naman na natin napatunayan kung gano natin kailangan ang isa't isa di ba? :)

Honey, you know my situation right now. ikaw nga lang ang nakakaalam yata e. Nang kung anong totoo kong nararamdaman, pinagdaanan. At alam mo din sana kung gaano kita kakailangan. Kahit sabihin mo sakin na hindi mo naman ako iiwa i would always ask you to be with me. Okay? Hindi ko alam kung ano nang mangyayari sakin kapag nawala ka pa. :( I would never want that. :( Of all people, ikaw yung gusto kong unang una ko makitang masaya para sakin. Ikaw yung taong gusto kong naka suporta saakin Yung taong kahit wala na silang lahat ikaw nandyan pa din.

Don't worry, kahit magkalayo tayo, my heart will always be with you. Sabi ko naman sayo, kung gano mo ko hindi iiwan, ganun din ako sayo. :) You are the most precious, the most special gift God has given to me and if it happens i leave you, i am definitely out of my mind. :) but that won't happen honey. I want you to stop being paranoid about the future, instead let us look on the brighter side, may mga bagay tayong namimiss kapag mas iniisip natin ung negative. Diba sabi mo nga, makalimutan man natin ang isa't isa, sure kang babalik at babalik tayo. :) Hindi kita kaya at hindi ko magagawang iwan ka. :) I will always be right here for you. I will always support you. And in fact i am proud of you, pinahanga mo ako sa acads mo eh! :) That's my girl. :) i am very very very happy for you. You are getting closer to achieving your dreams honey and don't waste anytime, you go fulfill it one by one! :) You have a lot of potential in your hands. :) I really wanna make this special and I hope you felt the happiness in me through this. :)

Eto po yung sinasabi ko sayong ginagawa ko. :P Kase gusto ko naman ikaw naman ung maparamdaman ko ng care at love ko. :) and i know kahit maliit na paraan lang to, i hope and pray nagustuhan mo. :)

Before I end this, honey madami pa tayong papagdaanan. But we can conquer them all because we are together. Ang pinagdadaanan mo, pinagdadaanan ko na rin. :) Sabe ko nga sayo, we are not just two people laughing and telling jokes with each other, we are more than that More than partners. :) Ano pa bang kulang? Kasal? Hahaha. I love you honey. From the bottom of my everything. :) God knows how much i wanna be with you for the rest of my life. And we will make that happen. In his perfect time. :)

Continue being excellent for God You're doing good. I won't miss your graduation. :) Ang daming magagandang planong nag iintay para sayo. Para saatin. And we're gonna chieve and fulfill them all, together. :)

"Cause when God gave you your angel, never let go if it." And thank you for being that angel, honey. :)

Love you always, love. :)