50. Hanap kang wrong timing.

Ganto ba pag mag bibirthday? Malungkot?

49. Nope, Im not

Im not perfect. Im not perfect. Okay? :( If you expect me to do something and couldn't do it, Im sorry. :(

48. All good things come to an end

I just had the happiest, most fulfilling, exciting, interesting, very tiring, surprising, shocking 7 months of my life. If there's one thing I've learned, it's there's no small job inside the kitchen. The kitchen will need your passion, your dedication, your commitment, your heart. And tonight, I just fell inlove more with it.

I will miss working with the people I worked with for the past 7 months. You guys contributed a lot with what I am right now and this will definitely be treasured in my heart until the day they bury me 6 ft underground. I will always remember how we used to learn each and every day together. How we survived compre and how we made Chef Jun happy with our resto week. :)

I wouldn't stop if you'd ask me what are the things i've learned but the most important thing our chef taught us was not about what we cook or how great can you cook, but about our attitude. Right skills + Wrong attitude is still a wrong formula. It could take one person a day to learn how to cut and slice vegetables, but one could take a lifetime learning the right attitude when it comes to cutting and slicing vegetables.

To Chef Jun, thank you for sharing and imparting all your knowledge to us. You have helped us have that goal inside our heads that we have to achieve at a certain point. You were a great help to us most especially when we talk about characters. You built that confidence inside us that we will carry forever. I don't know but we found a father in you inside the kitchen. I salute you sir, I salute you chef. :)

I think I just found the right place for me. :) OJT here i come!

47. Bat ganun?

Bakit nga ba?

46. It's not always easy

I could really use someone to talk to right now.

Sometimes it's hard when you do not know how to open up or share or express certain negative feelings to others because you think it would just be a disturbance to them.

45. Family always comes first

I love hearing the noise of my family outside my room. Makes me feel safe and contented. :)

Thank God for them.

44. Which is which?

I just wish I can be in two places at once. :(

*sigh*

43. Humbled & Honored

I asked God if I could join the Music ministry and be one of the people who sing on the stage every sunday service, He made me a worship leader. I thanked God and He even included me on the list of staff of Victory Meycauayan (Youth coordinator).

Maybe im being overwhelmed by all of these and I can't help but feel scared. Scared that I might not fulfill my duties, scared that I might not reach my pastors' expectations.

Then I remembered the prophesy given to me, The Lord has already planned everything for me and now it's being revealed to me.

I admire the people who work behind the curtains for their effort to sow and inspite of the hardships and sacrifices they don't think of what would benefit them but what could they do to encourage and bless other people. And it's very humbling to be part of something this great and yet to become greater.

42. Grace

Lord I need your Grace. More than anything.

41. I miss you, ate.

I've been having this heavy feeling for the past few weeks already
I didn't have any idea why until tonight.

I just miss my ate. :( And it hurts me to see that she's not doing okay. :(

40. Hope. Always have it.

I know soon enough, my sister will come back to us. And everything'll be back to normal.

I miss you ate. Please come back. :( Surrender to God. :( Aren't you tired of living your life miserably? :(

Dear Jesus, I lift up to you my sister. Take control of her life for she doesn't know what she's doing. Put wisdom in her heart that she may make the right choices even if it's hard. Teach her to be strong enough to face the reality of life and open her eyes to see all the blessings that she has and the blessing that are yet to come. Lord, I love my ate so much. Please make me understand her situation. :( I trust in you my Lord.

39. Lord I'm amazed by you and how you love me

I don't really remember how we did or how did it go, I could just remember being soaked in His presence.

Those 30 minutes were one of the most amazing 30 minutes of my life. It's such a privilege to be part of something great. Let me share you some of those things:

1. Meeting a lot (A LOT) of new people - I never expected to meet most of the amazing people in the congregation. And yes I did. And it's very humbling.

2. VICTORY GROUP!!! :) enough said. Haha.

3. Being in the MUSIC TEAM! I have waited a verrrry long time to be part of one. And now I am.

Thank you God for the privilege of leading the worship in Victory Malolos. You have brought us beyond to what we have imagined. This is just one of the many proofs that your plans are greater than ours.

Thank you for the people who continously praying and helping us in the journey of this ministry. You know their heart Lord, give them more (enough) strength and wisdom to influence and to reach more people.

Thank you Lord for believing in me. For giving me this ministry. My desire is just to offer and bring you back all the things you have given me. And If this is the way you want me to do it, so be it.

My heart's full of gratitude and joy and I can't even contain it!

Sarap maging anak ng Dyos. ;)

38. Bakit ganon?

Ang lungkot lang isipin na ang tao hindi magawang maging kuntento.

Ang lungkot lang isipin na ang tao hahanap at hahanap ng dahilan/butas para hindi maging masaya.

Ang lungkot lang isipin na ang tao mas nauunang makita ung mali kesa sa tama.

Bakit ganon? Nakakalungkot.

Sana ang buhay para nalang exam. Bakit? Kasi kahit ang daming malli, ang binibilang yung tama.

37. Downside?

When everything seems so perfect, and all you gotta do is be grateful, i can't help but ask one thing: How long would this last?

I can't even remember the last time i was this happy. I mean, i longed for this. Now i have it in my hands. But how long? Im afraid. Afraid that one day i would lose all of the things that makes me happy today. Im afraid that one day i might lose interest in what i do today which I love.

Im afraid that i might do something that could ruin all of the good stuff, with all that's happening to me.

But I believe that the prophecy i received yesterday was a confirmation. Yes, i still am afraid. But i just have to be stronger and have the faith that Jesus would lead the way.

So how long? No one knows. Oh, Jesus does. :)

36. Upside Down

I've been meaning to update this blog of mine for about 4 months already. And for the nth time, i got too lazy (way too lazy) to jusy even check this. Haha. But i think tonight's the perfect time to go back. :)

Do you remember the last time you felt the happiness and fulfillment that you've been wanting for so long? :) I remember the time when i first made a bread, they were soft rolls and a honey whole-wheat loaf. That was the time i regained the feeling of genuine happiness. Finally i have done something that i can be proud of. It wasn't easy but it felt great.

Before when i was still stuck in one of my most horrible days of my life, if you know what i mean, i couldn't even let my classmates or friends see my work. I couldn't ask if it's nice or not cause i, myself find my own work undesirable. I have been waiting for this moment to come. And it finally arrived.

It's been 2 months since i started culinary (which in my case, baking. We haven't reached culinary yet.) and that two months gave me fulfillment beyond what i had imagined, and way more fulfilling compared to the three years i spent in fine arts. :)

I get tired. Way more tired than what i've experienced in fine arts. But i don't mind. In fact, i look forward to everyday that i would learn another recipe. Priceless. :)

Im still studying baking right now and it's been sooo fun so far. I get to know about all these pastries, breads and desserts; how to make them, the ingredients and many more. I call it wonders of kitchen. It's magical in there. :)

Right now I'm happy. Really really happy. I get to do the things that both my heart and i wanna do. I get to sing and i'm now a part of Victory Meycauayan's music team which was my dream for so long. I get to lead the team and the people in worship. I get to use my gift to honor my God.

If there's one thing i've learned, it's this: Things will change from bad to good and vice versa, nothing is permanent but there's one thing that is, God. - I held onto him. And he brought me here. :) It was his' plan, not mine. :)

35. Dear Insan

Yung totoo, eto lang ba matino nating picture? WALA AKONG MAKITA. Hahahaha!

Getting to the point, kaya ako nag blog kasi duh birthday mo kaya. :)) Happy Birthday Kimiko Rato! wait kulang, Happy 20th birthday insan! :) Hahaha!

Masyado palang excited ung pagbati ko sayo una pala dapat ung speech. *ehem* :)) Wait, kaen muna tayo. =)) Hi insan! Ang tanda mo na pala? :)) Joke. Haha! Pero seryoso nung una tayo magkakilala mag dedebut ka pa lang ah! :)) Ang galing. Haha!

Insan, syempre una sa lahat thank you, (sorry ang cliche HAHA!) kasi dahil sa maraming bagay:

• Dahil malakas kang kumaen. Alam mo na un kung bakit, dko na kailangan i-explain hahaha!
• Dahil maligalig ka. Kung hindi ka maligalig baka di tayo friends. =)))) Baka kung mala-Rhea ka. JOOKE. Joke Rhea :( Classmate nyo pa din ba yun? Bakit di ko nakikita tuwing dadalaw ako? =))
• Dahil lagi mo akong ineencourage. ;) 
• Dahil mula noon hanggang ngayon, loyal ka sa tandem namin ni Iselle. HAHAHA! 
• Dahil alam mo lagi ung sasabihin mo kapag nasa gitna ako ng sitwasyon. :)
• Dahil kahit hindi na tayo nagkakasama araw-araw nararamdaman ko pa din ung insan fever naten. =))) 
• Dahil pareho tayo ng faith. Alam mo yan. :>
• Dahil kahit anong bagay kinwento mo na ata sakin. =)) 
• Dahil ginawa mkong insan. :)) Ano daw? :)) 

Sabi nga, change is the only constant in this world. :)) May mga bagay man na nagbago, hindi man ayon sa plano nating FF yung nagyayare ngayon, sabe mo nga, dadating ung time na lahat mag fa-fall into their right places. Noon, nag woworry ako kasi baka pag umalis ako masama yung pagbabagog mangyayari. Baka mawala ung closeness natin. 

Hindi man tayo nagkikita araw-araw na, hindi man tayo kumakain na madalas, hindi man tayo nagkukwentuhan na ngayon about sa mga buhay naten, hindi man kita makitang kinikilig lagi tuwing lalabas ng building o kahit nasa loob man, hindi man tayo mag overnight na magkakasama, hindi man tayo umaalis at madaling araw na nasa gitna pa tayo ng kalsada, kahit miss na miss ko na kayo :( wala pa din akong ibang masabi kay Lord kundi thank you kasi kahit hindi kita pinsang totoo, nararamdaman ko ung pagka "family"natin, bukod sating dalawa, sa buong FF. :) 

I love you insan! And yes, insan tayo forever and ever! Happy happy birthday, expect me to be there on your 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, and many more birthdays! Let's keep making the name of Jesus known. :) Alam kong sa tamang time ni Lord, makikita na natin yung FF na may parehong faith. :) 

PS. Hindi na ako mag cocomment tungkol kay *tooot* birthday mo naman e :p Hahaha!

Happy Birthday Insan. I hope u enjoyed the rest of the day, it's yours. :)

34. Struck

"Being a Christian means accepting Christ as your saviour, your God. That is why you are called a Christian. If you remove 'Christ', there's only 'ian' and that means 'I am nothing.'"

- Manny Pacquaio

Lord, iba ka. Nag-iisa ka talaga. :)

33. Keeping my faith

I believe that this year, i will once again here the words, "I'm proud of you." from the very mouths of my parents.

And I know thru this Prayer ad Fasting, i will have a brand new start with a brand new strength and wisdom from my Jesus. :)

Cause i keep my faith alive and burning. :)

32. Preparation / Day 1

REFLECT:

1. Resurrection of Christ - That God died for our sins and buried and that he was raised from the dead on the third day according to the scriptures.

2. Grace saved us from our sins. Salvation is a gift from God. And good works have nothing to do with our salvation so that no one can boast. 

RESPOND:

Lord, i ask for more of your wisdom, I know i cannot understand your word fully but with your power I will have your wisdom so I can know what you are about to tell me. Make me appreciate your gospel more so that I would have the ability to share it with others. 

Make me righteous enough so that I would boldly share your gospel to others who needed it the most. Strength I ask of you. Make me endure this 7 day fast for I do this all for your glory and honor. 

Amen.

31. Oh hello!

Missed blogging!

I missed Christmas. I was supposed to blog about what happened to me last Christmas day but i was too lazy. Also during new year's eve but I got too lazy also before the class starts. Haha!

But today, as I prepare for this year's Prayer and Fasting, i'm thinking of using my blog as a medium of my reflections, etc.

So what pushed me to fast this year? As we grow up, our minds, characters and maturity should also grow up. I have experienced a lot of pain for the past year and I am believing for so many things this 2012.

As my favorite bible verse (Jeremiah 29:11) would say, The Lord's plan for you and me is for us to prosper and not to harm us. To give us a life fulfilled with faith and hope. And as this year enters, im believing for more of spiritual growth.

To all those people who decided to fast, be expectant for God's break throughs will pour upon us. Believe for an overflowing blessing this year, but most of all, know your God. :)